Work Work Work Work Work

Ok, now that you’ve got that song stuck in your head, let’s get down to business.

Today was a pivotal day for this mama, I had my first post-baby interview, hopefully with more to come. (I’ll keep you guys posted.) Though I initially wanted to spend at least the first year working from home, to be with him, it didn’t quite work out that way. Well, it still could, I could potentially not get the job, but ya girl kills it in interviews. (There I go, tooting my own horn again) But, in all seriousness, I thought I was going to be super awkward after being in baby land for 5 months, but something about becoming a mom makes you so much more confident and sure of yourself. 

Here I am, thinking I already had all the tools before baby, but I’m telling you, it makes a real difference. I’m not saying go out and have a baby to bring out your inner Sasha Fierce, I’m just saying that for me, experiencing motherhood has further cemented my security in my womanhood and my abilities to do just about anything.

Now back to plans not quite working out quite as you expected. First off, as a new mom, that sort of becomes the reality of life. You think you’re going to get the grocery shopping done, but baby has other plans, cue the crying fit that sounds like bloody murder. You thought you were going to take your kid to see his first animals at the zoo, but you wind up spending an hour eating and feeding babe at the zoo cafe before you even see one animal and then he only cares about watching the other mammals, I mean kids. I’m not ashamed of plans changing and things not working out, such is life. Originally,  my goal was to craft a freelance career and be a mompreneur (apparently that’s a word people like to use these days) I prefer, “mom who sells shit and does odd jobs from home to make a living while enjoying the company of her tiny human”. But frankly, freelancing in my field is not as easy as it sounds. “You’re talented”, they say. “You have connections”, I thought, but when all is said and done, freelancing in television takes a lot of footwork with a lot of missteps along the way. Nothing clicks right away like you’d hope for. And many people told me that. Not that I’m not up for the challenge, because trust me, day care is like a second rent/mortgage, but I guess it’s just taking a little longer to come out on top. The silver lining is that just because I go back to work, that doesn’t mean I have to stop doing anything else I’ve become passionate about during my leave. I’ll still be blogging, I’ll still be baking, and I’ll still be this baby’s mama. 

Honestly, I think one of my greatest fears in going back to work, wherever that may be, was that my son will be bonding with someone else in a mom-like role, that someone else will have these experiences wth him that I’ve been sharing with him for nearly half of his first year, and that I will miss out on all the baby milestones like sitting up on his own and those eventual first steps.   Now, I don’t think I’ll ever not struggle with that, but I know it’ll get easier. 

My dad left me with some helpful and meaningful words the other day. He told me that it might be hard to leave him, but the thought of coming home to my son would make the days easier to get through. And in the 4 hours I was away from him this morning, I can totally see how that’s true. When I walked in the door, RJ was sitting in his high chair, his father feeding him his bottle and  I was greeted with the happiest, gummiest smile you ever did see. It was in that moment that I realized that my son loves me just as much as I love him and nothing can change that.

So mamas, I toss it to you. How did you prepare to go back to work? And how did you manage the day to day? And for my SAHM/WAHMs, how are you able to pull it off? What helped you find your mompreneur calling?
xo

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The Black Mama

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