Getting the Groove Back

Well, well, well…

It’s been over 2 months since I’ve written anything here. I recently broke my Instagram hiatus, and lately, i’ve been feeling alright. And by alright, I really mean damn good.

When we moved I was still picking up pieces. Trying to figure out where everything went. Unpacking life, figuring out what was next and how to achieve it, and… potty training.

Yes, teaching a tiny human to put his pee and poo into a hole instead of a diaper. That part is going surprisingly well. He’s always been intrigued by the toilet and bathroom. Boys. Go figure. So in the past two months, we’ve switched out of diapers and into Easy-ups. Which are literally just glorified diapers. The only real difference is that now when he takes it off, there will not be a trail of poop. It’s all confined in the little bucket that is these disposable training underwear. I am too ready to be done with them all. We have big boy undies on deck and at least once a day, RJ is begging me to let him wear those. I happily oblige, giving myself a mental pat on the back. That is, until he stands there looking at me, peeing right through the things. It’s almost as if it’s on purpose. 🤔

And oh yeah, we’ve been watching a lot of Sesame Street. a little off topic, but this was one of my favorite shows growing up. My first baby doll is named Elmo, and my grandma till has him (complete with a diaper rash I drew on him with a permanent marker). But this show, is truly one of the most interesting television accomplishments out there. Not up for debate. I will argue it. Yeah, there are a million and one studies about screen time for little ones, but I believe if it serves as a catalyst for learning and becomes an activity you do together to accompany other hands on learning, then by all means…

Just don’t let it get like this —

The social media break was for my mental. I was feeling bogged down by other people’s life happenings and the need for me to keep up to stay relevant as a blogger. But who the fuck am I? Seriously?! I’m not internet famous, and I’m fine with that. It took me taking some time away to come back and see the people (I may or may not know in person), miss them, and realize why they are in my life. And it’s not even about blog traffic or likes on a picture. See, even online, it’s all about finding a tribe. And if I don’t post everyday, who cares??? Absolutely no one. Well except for my friend Chyra, who insists I share my recipes of the meals The Man likes to show off in his IG stories. But in all honesty, I love to write and blog and share my stories, but I’m just doing it for me and for the love of the written word (plus, the high level of not in-person social interaction satisfaction that come from being an INFJ).

Did you catch all of that? Ok, good.

So here we are. Here I am. Finally at a point where I feel like I have my groove back. Like back to feeling like myself. The one that was here all along, but really peeked her head out just a few years ago. She’s the ‘do things my own way’ kinda gal with a huge sense of humor and potty mouth, but an adept appreciation for the beauty of the world around her and the lessons it has to teach. Let me tell you, all that isn’t possible to keep up with in the throes of motherhood.

So with that, I am proclaiming that the groove is back! I decided to update the blog tagline, because this is no longer about adventures in the city of LA. We’re on a completely new adventure that motherhood is an extremely important part of, but it’s just a part of it all. I’ll be launching my online store in a week. The Man has got something super exciting in the works, also coming to fruition in a few short weeks. And RJ, well he’s fucking potty trained, guys!

**Because I like flamingos and this guy is totally doing a happy dance**

I have reached the point where I am excited to wear real clothes again, the “get creative with my outfits” kind of wear real clothes. I kid you not, I wore a red polka dotted midi dress to Wal-Mart yesterday, and it was life! Forever inspired by the queen of unapologetic fashion and  SZA’s new album “CTRL”.

It might be also be something in the water, but I think I can trace it back to 2 other far more important things. *cue the cheesy sentimental music*

  1. The Man…I am constantly thinking about how grateful I am for what he does for our family. We struggle sometimes (as a relationship, with finances, with life), but that’s par for the course and I don’t care who says any different. They’re lying through their teeth! But honestly, without my partner in crime, I wouldn’t be able to be the mother I get to be for our son. And I wouldn’t have anyone to keep me laughing hysterically through the bullshit. But seriously, he has continued to prod me to just do it. And though it was annoying af when I felt I was juggling too much already, I’m now embracing that mantra to just do what I want to feel good, productive, and connected to life (yes, outside of motherhood).It can be hard to get that identity back. It’s taken me nearly 2 years though most of you probably didn’t realize you weren’t getting the full package.

    2. A toddler on the verge of talking. RJ is picking up new words day in and day out, and gaining the confidence to use them regularly. He will say “hi” to anyone and everyone, real or not. After he got “Honey” down, he can’t stop telling his dog what to do. And “uh-oh”, let’s just say we call him a little detective because he will always notify you when something has gone wrong. Reaching this stage somehow feels like a level up. I’ve triumphed over the infant stage, now the real fun begins. So it’s only right that I grow with my boy and start to show him the real me. The me that so many of my friends have called an inspiration. The me that is unbothered by those who just don’t get it. The me that has always and will always rock to the beat of her own drum.

    So with that, welcome back to The Black Mama. A motherhood blog written by a quirky 20-something black gal. Let’s get weird!


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